Our fave p*tastrologers from Twitter give us their fearless forecast for the Halloween season.
Phew, where did the time go? 2017 has felt like a very long year, chock-full of catastrophes natural and manmade, and an ever-maddening news cycle that’s left many of us feeling stripped of hope.
October comes at an odd juncture of the year when the rainy season comes to a close (Supposedly? Except climate change is a bitch?) and the holiday season slowly looms towards us. The end of October also brings out ghosts and all sorts of horrors, which can be equal measures frightening and fun. Not to worry, though. We, the Astro P*tas (@p*tastrology) bring some better tidings from the stars. Hold tight, there’s still much to hope for in the time to come.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Every Aries is born with an inherently competitive spirit. Trying to get a promotion? A new project off the ground? A new jowa? This month is a good time for you to hit the ground running and go full attack mode.
As you blaze your way, you’ll feel threatened by those around you. Use this feeling productively. The pressure can make you more focused and more ruthless, or you can get caught up in a lot of negative, irrational thinking that will only get you more stuck. Communicate things clearly and (though we know you hate it), learn to make compromises to get closer to your goals. For magic, wear a beret.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Whoa, Taurus. October is looking bright for you. Every Taurus knows the value of pagpupursige and gets hella frustrated when it doesn’t pay off. The good news, thanks to your mumshie the planet Venus, is that this is the month you can have it all. You just have to make pursige.
Like the construction workers in “Work From Home,” you’ll be feeling hardworking and sexy this month, so pack your schedule with business meetings and dinner dates. Who knows where these things will lead you? For domination in the boardroom and the bedroom, wear a belt with an oversized buckle.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Gemini, you’ve been working hard. It’s all going to pay off though, swearyoso. This will be one of your most productive months, but at the back of your mind, you will yearn for the thing you want most: human connections. Don’t stop right now because you could spice up someone’s life if you wanna be their lover (zig-a-zig-ah).
If the government can lie so blatantly, though, so can lovers. Beware of liars and cheats, because they could take advantage of your kind, gregarious nature this month. Don’t let what you want to see blind you from what’s hiding under the surface. For a feeling of well-worn wisdom, wear patched up jeans.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Oh no, you’re moody again! This month will start in a feeling of crisis for you, dear Cancer. Though it’s nothing you can’t handle. If you ride out the waves, you’ll find yourself out in the open seas with an unprecedented energy and optimism.
As they say, if love is tragedy, then nasaan ang clarity? Slowly but surely, like the buildup to the drop in a Zedd song, it’s on its way. This is a time when your mind is clear and you can resolve long-standing issues with yourself and the people you love. Solutions will feel as easy as falling asleep (something you know well). For good dreams, wear an accessory from your childhood.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
It’s been a lot lately, Leo. But the start of October is a time to get back in touch with your creative spirit. This is a time to break out the acrylics, the calligraphy ink, the funny scissors, the modeling clay and the 512-piece Crayola set to make something new.
You’ve always made better decisions with your heart than your head. That’s gotten you into trouble in the past, but this month, your heart is the one to trust. Can you feel the love tonight, Simba? You never know. If it feels right, perhaps by Halloween you’ll have someone to couple costume with. For domination, wear a choker.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
This month, you’re in the business of mysteries. From whence did we come? What is our relationship with the universe? Is the Carly Rae Jepsen discography all one distinct narrative repeated over and over?
It’s a time to make like Arcade Fire and reflekt on everything now. Your deeply inquisitive sign will be pressing for answers for everything troubling you, but you must remember to exercise that singular Virgo patience. Not every answer reveals itself at the start. Give yourself time and perhaps you’ll realize it was simpler than you ever imagined. For added self-restraint, wear a leather harness.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
It’s birthday season for you, Libra! This is a good time to take a look back at yourself and ask the hard questions. What have you done with your life this year? What are the ways you have yet to grow? Are you ever going to feel like you’re Enough™?
Have no fear, though. There’s more than just overwhelming inner turmoil for you this month. Exciting, intellectually stimulating encounters will abound. Every Libra loves staying up all night with a lover or a friend to talk about the universe. To glow in the dark, wear something reflective.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Like the great cloud Mufasa once said: Remember who you are, Scorpio. The past few months have left you feeling somewhat listless, always putting your needs aside for other people. As your birthday looms, October is a time to take pause and go back to yourself.
There are also relationships with friends and lovers that might need attention. If you’ve let some friendships evanesce, it’s time to bring them to life. We know a Scorpio’s love is like the sea: powerful, turbulent, full of secrets (and some dead bodies). Make them feel it. For that demersal texture, wear something velvet.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Somebody call the Kings of Leon, ‘cause your Sag is on fire. This month, you’re brimming with energy, confidence and creativity, Sagittarius. It’s a good time to get to work on new projects, or perchance you could use somebody (one of the countless lovers undercover on the street).
You’ll be raring to go for these brave new goals, but beware your aggressive nature. It’s your greatest strength, but it could work against you if you’re not careful. Learn to temper your flames, but keep that reckless charm and you’ll win everyone over. For a touch of danger, wear something animal print.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
You’re always going to try to have it all, Capricorn. You’re the sign of ambition naman talaga, the self-proclaimed G.O.A.T.. This month will leave you feeling like your time is running out. What have you done with 2017? How can you cram all your goals and dreams into its last three months?
You will, as you always do, end up with more work than you bargained for. You’ve made a home for yourself in the hectic, but this could push you to your limit. For your sake, learn to say no and make space for yourself in your life. Please lang. For a feeling of rugged vulnerability, wear suede boots.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
The weather’s been strange lately, with very, very frightening thunderbolts and lightning. At least within you, the storms calm this month, dear Aquarius. If you’ve been feeling out of sorts, you’ll start to find yourself back in control of your world, like the true killer queen you are.
Before the next storm, plague or hostile takeover by robots hits, this is a good time to take stock and make sense of where you’re headed. Are the goals you once set still the goals you’d like to keep moving forward? Are there things you’re holding on to that you should leave behind? Just to be sure, wear something waterproof.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Dear Pisces, you spend a lot of time pondering on your woundedness. You’ve always feared that this makes you weak, when in fact it’s made you keenly aware of your strength. But Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes. This month is a time to look at the ways you’ve closed yourself to love and work towards healing the wound.
This feels like a time also to dive deeper into other people’s lives. You love to know people in an intimate way, to bask in their strangeness and wonder. That yearning intensifies this month, so surround yourself with strange and wonderful souls. For a different kind of warmth, wear pajamas in the daytime.